sometimes you get what you want

Today was my last day of work. Tomorrow is my "official" last day of work, but I won't be there most of the day, so the firm held a farewell lunch for me today. The office manager was good enough to oblige my food requests: catering from my favorite burrito place, cake from a Chinese bakery with fruit and whipped cream instead of butter cream (I hate butter cream, blech).

No one sang songs, but the managing partner said a few words. Then, I said a few words. And then people clapped. And then, then I got presents (presents!) I knew the lunch was coming but gifts made it extra special. Embarassed to sound like a kid, but that's exactly how I felt. It was my party, and I was getting stuff.

This necklace was something I saw in a shop and really wanted but felt it was too much to buy for myself. Nicely done, Sarah. She mentioned it to the managing partner, and he happened to know the owner of the shop, so the firm bought it for me as a going-away gift. I was really surprised and touched.

Leaving lots of nice people behind who have functioned as your alternate family is really hard. That's what working at small, labor law firms in the Bay Area has been like for me. Being adopted into a series of families. Some took better care of me than others ("we put the 'fun' back into dysfunctional"). But they all took care of me.

I know I have an issue with self-care. I have to learn how to take better care of myself. I know, I know, but I don't really know. I haven't fully learned it. Just when I got the hang of taking care of myself, by myself, someone came into my life and upset the balance. Now, I have to re-learn how to take care of myself, this time, in a relationship. Well, that's what I wanted all along. Or so I said. A loving relationship. Here it is. Totally strange to me. Not sure what to do with it yet. I know what to do with the jewelry.

(and P.S. the ring is from my sweetheart)